June 22, 2012

Summer and the Big Fish



( This is a re-post from Summer of 2008)

Giantfishphobia
It had been raining this summer. It’s near the end of April and there’s still rain that drizzles down from the blue heaven. It’s an unusual season that way. A friend and me was once examining how the weather was ironic, t’is summer yet there’s rain.

But today, the rain fell at dawn and the sun is starting to shine it’s light. It’s a beautiful light. Not so bright and yet not so dim like a rainy weather does have.

It’s the favoritest season don’t you think. I adore summer just like everyone does, just like you and me. It’s the time for letting flight the colorful kites so mighty in the oceanic blue sky. It’s the time for the kids to run in the arid grounds, dust and smoke in their faces, filling the air with innocent laughter and mirth.

I had dreams of summer before. I dream of summer as the windiest and most adorable golden field of wheat and corn, just like an American summer, along the interstate highways and along old barns and stucco rural houses that serenade the bright summer like colorful marbles from afar.

I dreamt of summer just like the one I had mostly when I was a child. Cool air and incandescent shine all over me, as I flew my kite by myself or fish for small fishes in a nearby pond, like I own the weather for all myself, and myself alone.

Summer brings freedom. Unlike cold winter and heavy rainy days when one could merely sit by the window and see the wet grounds outside, puddles of mud all round, and wondered if a big fish would suddenly burst out in floods that sometimes come when the rain does not stop for days and days to come. I sometimes wished that the mythical fish, gigantic and full of mean scales on its bodice, would somehow appear and bring excitement to those sad rainy days when I was so young and so innocent. Of course, there’s no such fish as we all realized about the myths in our young unknowing minds as we grow up.

But it was so alive in my young mind, and it looks just like a coelacanth, that scaly big fish that was thought to be extinct but had been found out to still exist in some parts of Africa. And it’s huge like a submarine and I could imagine rivets all over its body, forming it and holding the whole body tight, like a gigantic machine fish, with a mean looking face that doesn’t smile at all.

I had the deepest fear of being gobbled whole and live by that giant scaly fish and finding myself just around its tonsil, calling for it to Please let me out now, you stupid fish! You have no right to put me inside your f*cking stomach and would you please belch me out right at this moment? (Pardon for the expletives.)

Oh, I really wouldn’t want to be trapped inside that dark crevice of a giant scaly fish and that’s one of my greatest fears. Maybe I could call that giantfishphobia, if there’s such a thing.

Fortunately, there’s really no such big and scaly fish in reality, that would just suddenly burst out of a developing flood just outside the yard. Now, that I am grown up, such myths of my youth is for certain, just that - myth.

For the meantime, I am just going to savor the cool summer sunlight that’s enveloping the whole surrounding at this time and wish the heavy rainy days of May wouldn’t come just as yet.

Tuba